Music

BACOLOD, PHILIPPINES — Women know shame. It’s a legacy passed down through the ages, a silent inheritance from those who endured suffering without the freedom to voice it or faced judgment for daring to speak out. While shame is taught, female rage — an often suppressed emotional response to systemic injustice and personal trauma — is not. Society expects women to be perpetually forgiving and understanding, as if anger is alien to our experience. But how can we truly release pain if we’re not allowed to feel our anger? Ilonggo and Bisaya artist UBVSTE steps into the spotlight with her debut single, “Imagine,” to defy this norm.

“Imagine” is a sultry and scathingly honest anthem born from the ashes of a tumultuous relationship. The song was inspired by UBVSTE’s personal experience from four years ago. “I found out that my partner at that time had been cheating on me since the start of the relationship and had gotten another girl pregnant,” she recalled. “Instead of owning up to it when he got caught, he proceeded to deny it to clear his name and to try and save our relationship. I’d always felt it in my gut that something was wrong, but I thought I had such a deep, trusting connection with him that I chose to defend him despite all the evidence being presented in front of me.”

For UBVSTE, the year 2020 was not only marked by the global upheaval of the pandemic but also by this personal crisis. According to her, the breakup was a whirlwind of delusion and manipulation, exacerbated by the close-knit nature of her hometown. “My ego was hurt — a lot. I think very highly of myself at times, and for me to put myself in that situation and allow myself to stay in it, I felt so ashamed,” she shared.

UBVSTE channeled her longing for retribution and self-expression into her single, and admitted that the song was largely born out of spite. With a laugh, she said she wasn’t about to let her ex move on as if nothing happened.

Writing “Imagine” became a process of filtering through the chaos of her thoughts and emotions. “The lyrics finally came to me after I decided on a hook,” UBVSTE explained. “And because I couldn’t fully narrate everything in the lyrics, I channeled the rest through the melody and harmonies because I feel like that helps give the song depth. At least I can hopefully let the listeners feel the rage, delusion, and pain I went through.”

Even with all this said, “Imagine” doesn’t quite fit the typical mold of an angry breakup song. Instead, UBVSTE uses it to reflect on the what-ifs and could-have-beens, while also facing her ache and anger head-on. The song captures the complexity of human emotions, showing that they’re not just black and white. By letting herself explore this, UBVSTE found a kind of catharsis. She told adobo Magazine, “It honestly felt like such a good release; I was laugh-crying throughout the entire writing process.”

UBVSTE revealed that the production of the track was a collaborative effort spanning several years. Introduced to the beat by her current boyfriend, UBVSTE eventually became friends with the producer, Pizza Killer. However, it wasn’t until a year later that she began working on her debut single. “One night, I was hanging out with my best friend Sejo, also a musician based in Dumaguete who has always encouraged me to pursue my music. He started playing the beat, began freestyling, and gave me the idea for the ‘Imagine’ hook,” she disclosed. “We kept replaying the beat while I wrote my verses on my phone, finishing the chorus and bridge parts first. I remember going home really excited that night, thinking, ‘It’s finally happening! I’m finally singing about this traumatic experience.'”

The process of refining the song took three months, with UBVSTE adding harmonies and experimenting with different vocal styles. “I pride myself on having many voices, so I decided to add a sort of mocking voice vibe to the second verse, drawing inspiration from artists like Gwen Stefani or Doja Cat,” she elaborated. “I was hesitant at first, but I’m glad I did because many people have told me their favorite part is the second verse.”

After hearing the finished song for the first time, UBVSTE felt relieved and liberated, knowing she had confronted and expressed her past hurt through music. It marked a true moment of freedom for her. “There was definitely a lot of self-reflection and accountability in confronting my past self and decisions,” she acknowledged. “While being highly self-aware can sometimes lead to shame from our end of things, I wanted to embrace that vulnerability and share it with the world.”

The four-year gap between the events that inspired “Imagine” and its release was crucial to UBVSTE’s artistic growth. “The song just never came to me. There were times during those three years when I felt incredibly frustrated because I wanted to write about that event but couldn’t find the right words, beat, or style,” she said. “Ultimately, I had to trust the timing of my life. The delay gave me the space to shape ‘Imagine’ with a clearer perspective and a more authentic expression.”

UBVSTE views her art and voice as a way to reclaim space and assert women’s narratives, ensuring our stories are heard. Despite the raw emotion in “Imagine,” the singer-songwriter wasn’t afraid of judgment, having already processed her feelings. She hopes that her willingness to share her experiences helps others feel safe to do the same. “Women in the music industry are increasingly asserting their voices, transforming pain into powerful art, and proving that our vulnerabilities can be sources of strength and inspiration,” she added.

With “Imagine,” UBVSTE has delivered a debut that highlights her voice and, more crucially, celebrates female rage, resilience, and the impact of music. If there’s one thing this anthem of defiance makes clear, it’s that female rage — though often misunderstood — is valid and powerful. Imagine that.

Song cover art by Hyna Calderon. Photos by River Dimitri and Darla Mamuyac.